Recently I did a favour to a friend of mine and played in a commercial for his start-up. We were filming near a shopping centre and because I was the first one there, I had to start making the preparations. . the preparation of course being finding a truckload of girls to take part in it too.
A classic case of easier said than done.
After a few failed attempts I was already beginning to feel defeated. “Men all over the world, I have failed you! To be or not to be? Is something wrong with my hair?” Those were the thoughts forming in my troubled brain. But alas, I came up with with an idea to sooth my despair. A trick I used in my sales job past, because there too the art of approaching fellow people is of essence.
Become someone else.
The matter that frightens me and others in these situations is the fear of rejection. Any negative feedback undermines your opinion of yourself and down goes MOJO. But what if it is not you, who gets rejected? Well my thought are that when you act as someone else, you are not the one who gets rejected. This way, you build up courage faster and approaching becomes less intimidating. If you act as another character, are you still acting on your behalf, or are your deeds morally not your responsibility?
“I am Austin Powers, the fearless and oh, do I know how to approach women!” or just “. .this is not the usual me, I’m forcing myself and it’s just for this particular assignment, get on with it!”
Naturally, my attempts to talk girls into the commercial failed. But I managed to make the process entertaining and somewhat distanced myself from the setbacks. The rejections did not alter my thinking of myself. So I walked out of it with a good mood(each rejection was surprisingly fun) and improved people skills(life-time motto: learn from mistakes). We changed the idea for the commercial and in the end got a good result anyway.
But I also suspect that this kind of thinking may lead to schizophrenia, so go figure. Don’t use it very often:) Also, alter egos do not necessarily take the moral blame every time. After each time you do something stupid when drunk, you do feel embarrassed. And essentially, your drunk self is an alter ego too. Also, there is a line where the effect stops and I guess the line is at the point, where your actions can be described as ” illegal “. .
All in all, the method needs some refinement, but its fun to try out and feel the rush. So I encourage you to try being someone else and share your thoughts. Did you feel responsible?:)
And the final result of the commercial too (with a couple instead of 20 girls):