About Me

How to be a millionaire?

When to cash in on the premise of „YOLO“? When is the right time to act as if it is your prerogative to experience all that is chaotic and dangerous, because you will not get another chance to do so? I see it as a downward spiral. The instant you decide to go „YOLO“ mode, then all your life’s goals are meant to be set to the background, as your chances of achieving them will get smaller and smaller. If you do something rash for only the one moment you live in now, then you sacrifice potential to gain greater combined pleasure from higher levels of happiness you will have in the future.

Don’t think that you will achieve your goals. Try thinking you already have…in the future. I use a method, where I write down my yearly goals in a form that I have already achieved them. For example: „this year I wrote my first short movie script.“ I act as the future me, who documents the accomplishments of the past year. Try using the same method for your bucket list and your monthly, weekly, daily lists. The logic is that my goals are set to become true, if I know they have happened to a future version of me.

I am a millionaire, but nobody knows it. Even I.

I am a millionaire, but nobody knows it. Even I.

For a simple example, I am a millionaire. Not at this moment, but 25 years from now. My plan is to invest 1500€ a year, achieve 20% yearly growth and reinvest all gained interest. I set the goal, wrote it down and started executing it. From the moment I came up with the plan, made the first move to make it happen and until I don’t deviate from this road, I think of myself as a millionaire.

It’s easy to think of life in past, present and future forms, but it’s not the only way. One could also argue that there is only this moment. And in this moment there is encompassed every other moment. May it happen in the future, be happening now or happened in the past. Or maybe there even is no present. Or maybe your present is longer that this exact defined moment.

It’s the premise of how we understand time travel – as we change something in the past, it creates an alternative way of things to happen. The key is that those changes don’t take time to happen. They happen the instant the past is altered. I think the same way of the future. Right now, the future is happening at the same time as the present. It’s changing for me with every moment. The next word that I write will change the future the moment I write it, but until I do that, I am living a future without that word.

The point of it is in how should we think of our future? And according to me, it should not be: „fuck it, YOLO.“ Every decision you make is amplified, because you are taking care of yourself for the rest of your life in every moment. Each good decision affects the future yourselves the same way as the present you. So until you make a bad decision, all your versions live a life where that has not happened for them. So in fact, you are not living only in this moment, but in every other moment to come, also.

And the answer to the title. . Just make the first step.


How do you know you’re healthy?

I’ve been in the army for nearly 8 months now. The last two have had me training to be a paramedic. Not a fainthearted dirtbag anymore, but a soon to be savior of lives. I would say that previously I was a little bit afraid of blood and definitely would have frozen in case of an emergency accident. But this medical course has served its purpose and now I have the necessary reflexes, the knowhow and basic skills and to be useful to people in need of help. As a part of my training I get to work as an apprentice paramedic in the ambulance, which is awesome. This kind of work drains slightly from your pool of emotional empathy, but really makes you appreciate human life.

Contradictory to popular belief, I’d say 90% of the calls are actually unnecessary. Most of the calls are made by people who just fear for their lives too much or have nothing else to do than detect symptoms of diseases. They’re making up problems or thinking their condition is worse than it really is. And a lot of it is caused by minuscule knowledge of their physical condition and health in general. A frequently occurring mindset is: „I am sick. There is definitely something wrong with me. If the doctor says I’m well, then I don’t believe him. I have earned the right for a treatment and someone needs to take care of me this instant.“

It’s good to live in a welfare bubble, but what if it burst? Should you be ready? At a certain age you start to face your mortality, and it can be frightening. But it should not paralyze you or make you paranoid.  If you feel there is something wrong with you, but you are aware what’s going on around you, then firstly go see a general practitioner yourself. Force yourself to take the reins. All injuries and illnesses are not lethal and there is a lot you can do yourself to get back to a better state of wellbeing.

The emotional stress both from those avoidable calls and from calls with critical nature give way for the compassion fatigue to happen. On one hand, the calls for serious injuries(car accidents, heart attack etc.) are so intense that they are mentally tiresome. On the other hand, a throng of people complaining about their high blood pressure can be very wearisome, because realistically they are calling ambulance for no good reason. Many find it surprising to hear that their vitals are considered fine and that they are perfectly healthy. They just need some recurring comforting and insurance. This kind of thinking is ultimately a self-fulfilling prophecy that wastes the ambulances energy. Could  less stress from patients who take things to their own hands instead of calling the ambulance can have a positive effect on the chance of successful(on time) treatment of critical patients?

You can live longer by having more confidence in yourself. Take it from the ultimate authority - Stephen Colbert.

You can live longer by having more confidence in yourself. Take it from the ultimate authority – Stephen Colbert.

Life can be lived by being sure you have taken care of yourself well or by being reliant on a diagnosis. Are you well because the doctor says so or are you well because you feel so? Of course there are examples like the risk of cancer. Women over 30 should regularly go check themselves, but the statistics need only to draw your attention, not worry you. Knowing yourself and your body keeps you from being a victim because someone says you are.

The more you stay in touch with your health the better. Care, but do not worry. And follow through. Saving others’ lives may be important, but it all starts from people making steps to save their own.

What are feelings?

It’s time to enter the season that is spring. Getting rid of the darkness and stepping into the colorful light of blooming flowers. Hibernation has ended. Time to substitute alarm clocks with morning sunlight. Days are long again and the spirit of life resurfaces. As seen from my written posts, winter was a difficult time for me. But I’m back on track with my writing. I have even found inspiration to start a new paintings after about half a year. I guess I’m more of a summer person. . Spring is said to be the season of love and it seems appropriate then to write my thoughts about it.

My friend, who hasn’t been active on the romantic-, or even the social scene, recently found a girl he liked. He decided to act on it and consulted me for advice. I tried to give him my “love doctor” advice, but soon I discovered that the best I could do, was just to encourage him to act as he deems right. That’s because contrary to my advice to be patient, he just dived in and opened himself to her. And it paid off. The girl left her boyfriend and got together with my friend. 2 months later, they are living together. To my knowledge, that good friend of mine hadn’t even had romantic interests before. Quite astonishingly fast series of changes.

Now, my theory is that people know their mates (for lack of a better word) when they see one. And be it something supernatural or just chemistry, they can feel if the attraction is both ways. We all have the “spider-sense” of love. Having courage to act on that intuition is another matter, though. There’s just something about approaching others that people are afraid of. The moment you lose your confidence and start to sulk, you lose 50% of your chances of ever being with someone.

Why do you feel down, when you get turned down? Why do you feel bad, when something does not go according to the plan? I consider it interesting, when I’m turned down. It’s a challenge. And if you struggle through it, you will a) understand yourself better b) understand others better. I would imagine that a great many of us are chasing after the opposite sex, but when the prize is acquired, they don’t know what to do with it. What does that mean to you – having a partner? Is it something that makes you feel better or is it something that makes you feel better about yourself? There’s a difference, you know. One is about the joy of life while the other is about reinforcing an idea you have about how you are supposed to be.

Happens every year.

Happens every year.

So why should anyone be desperate to find someone? (I am of course talking from a perspective of a 23-year-old man and do not understand the urge when a women is nearing 40). Obsessions are bad, that I know. A relationship starts with patience. Patience to wait for the other. Because there may be a connection between you, but perhaps you are in different states of your lives. Let’s say that before you met, one of you had a partner or lost someone and just isn’t compatible yet etc. The connection can materialize, when you reach similar grounds with your minds. Sometimes it works right away, sometimes it takes longer. It just takes time and honesty to make things work. The bond between people gets stronger with each minute spent together and the more you open up to each other, the stronger the bond gets. And it is universal, it can happen with anyone. Best friends are often those, with whom you have spent the most time together.

Physical pull is something that you cannot control, it is just there. And that can be recognized. When using both – your intuition and your rational thinking, you can pretty easily calculate if you are on the positive or the negative side. You cannot work out, however, if it is going to work between you in the end or if you are even getting together to make something work. That thread has to develop itself. People are too different for figuring relationships out in 100% theoretical mode. And because of that, one has to act on hunches and not overthink it. If you cannot, then my very first post will describe a method of making things easier on the mental part: http://wp.me/p3fAW9-9.

We spend too much time being afraid of what the other one thinks, has thought or will think of us and not enough time getting to grips with our own thoughts of ourselves. The thing I suggest is to go for it no matter what you think. The biggest mistake of them all – letting a chance go past you. It’s comparable to my idea of chance – if you don’t buy a lottery ticket, then you have 0% chance of winning. If you buy 1 ticket, then your chances increase infinite times, because you now suddenly have odds of winning. How many times is 1 out of a million (or 0,1 or 5 or 900 or. .) better than zero? Yes, it’s infinite times – you can multiply 0 with anything you want, you won’t get a different number. Considering that usually sharing your feelings is free, then why not increase your chances of finding a partner by infinite times? The proof of the pudding lies in the eating.

Is love a chemical reaction? Certainly. But there is magic in it that I don’t want to forget. Be happy to share your life and experience.


Who’s the good guy?

Fist of all, how can bad guys be really that bad as they’re portrayed in the movies? Half of the Hollywood bad guys have a follower base that laugh to the henchman’s bad jokes and enjoy killing and torturing people on demand. Where do they find those kind of people? The bad guy groupies that are willing to hit first and think later. And because they are fighting the good guy, they don’t even get the chance to think, only a chance to hit. I just can’t buy that. Humans can not be so willing to kill.

There have been studies, though, most famously the Milgram’s test. Stating that people lose a sense of moral duty, when they are firmly told to do something and that we have an inherent urge to obey orders . The blame lies on the person who gave the order, right? When you seemingly have no choice, but to follow orders. Things get worse with group pressure. When everyone you relate to act in a certain way, then those acts have to be morally correct, right? I can’t be held responsible for the groups decisions, right? But in reality you do have a choice, you just need to resist your primal desire to obey the herd. And when you look back on the situation, then you see that you do have a moral responsibility for your actions, you just felt easier doing bad things because you had company.

Now, speaking of the good guys, we have entered the Dark Knight era of heroes. We like heroes with emotional issues and a dark side. I think Watchmen is the best at that genre. Moral dilemmas all the way through. We get a more deeper look into the mind of the heroes and see behind the mask. They are fighting for their own ideas and ideals, not anyone else’s, otherwise they would have joined the police force. Each hero has a different view about justice, how it should be implemented or if justice exist altogether.  And often those ideas collide.  Some characters justify killing bad guys, some don’t. Should we derive the idea of good and bad characters from the ideals or the way those ideals are achieved? My thinking is that a killing machine can not qualify as a “hero”.

This subject has caused a lot of dissatisfaction with the Man of Steel movie, too. Comic book and Superman fans believed Superman to be unable to kill, he would never do that. But in the movie,  the villain General Zod gets his neck snapped. Easy way out. There is a point of course that Zod wanted to kill the entire planet and he would never stop, but still Superman drifted away from his rooted ideals. Those, like me, who hadn’t read the comics or knew the history, didn’t find the ending so unusual. We were getting used to justifying the acts of heroes with the idea of greater good.

My logic, that has evolved throughout many years and justifies human life is. . Every individual has his own view of the world. His own sight and experiences, his own understanding. We all understand the same situation differently and see the same happenings from a first person view that no one else can see. That means that the world itself is different to us all. We can not understand how others experience colors, pain, sounds etc. That in turn means that the whole universe is different to us. We experience the whole existence differently. And if you take out one person, you don’t just take out a pawn on a chessboard, you take out the player, a whole one side of the table. A totally unique view of the world, and thus, you are committing a crime that equals to destroying a whole universe.

Now i consider a person, who destroys a universe a villain. One can not say that every planet in that universe was “evil”, there had to be another solution. Now you’re thinking of self defense. Self defense is a harder case. When does an act become classified as self-defense and which kind of actions should be allowed to guard yourself? This subject needs some more thinking and some more questions. Watch the Youtube channel of Harvard philosophy lectures on justice to get acquainted with morality. There are so many mind boggling questions that arise from these lectures that you will find hard to keep track of your thoughts.

WARNING!: Take the words of warning from Michael Sandel seriously, these lectures will change your view of the world!

To be continued. .

Do fish notice water?

Going with the flow. Seems like an expression derived straight from the life of a fish. It’s an evolutionary process that humans have in common with many social animals. Go with the pack and you have the best chances of survival. Good for life in the dark ages, but bad for personal development in the 21st century.

As for the fish, it seems logical that they do not notice the water. Destined to become aware of it only when a fisherman catches it and lifts it out into the air, removing the environment that the fish thought took for granted. And when the fish is released back into the water, it embraces the water, notices it. That would be the case, if the fish could think or its memory would last for more than 5 seconds.

Do you notice the water you are in? The flow of your everyday life.

Personally, I became aware of it sometime in the last summer. I was walking down the beach with my earphones on. The kind which cut you out of the outside noise completely. There were plenty of people, the day was warm. I walked through the small crowd and in the silence, everybody seemed to lack a purpose in their actions. Moving by me just for the sake of going and because they are used to walk those roads, when the day is warm. I washed through the people and started to think that what is my purpose there. What could be the purpose of others, as if there is a lack of purpose, then it seemed a waste of potential.

As the fish was denied oxygen, I  cut off the sound of the world. Something unusual and interesting that created new thoughts and ways of thought. As always, routine holds back innovation.

Inspired by my new perceptions of the world, I wrote my fist poem that day(kindergarten doesn’t count). Just writing down unfiltered thought that rose into my mind:

I like to think.

Start discussions

about things, that otherwise would slip

by me.

Only this separates

a man from beast –

the ability to think.

Why have many forgotten it?

What is your purpose,

your motive, why

you do the things you do?

Routine should not be

the answer to your life.

People, you do not think

as much

as you believe you do.

No given moment, action

or your whole life is

for letting it

slip by thoughtlessly

like an ant or a bear.

Better remind yourself, what makes

you tick, what gives you meaning and soul.

If there is something

stuck inside you, then find out what

and how to set it free.

Create something with your life.

The times, when the sole goal

was to stay alive and breed

are over, because

the power of thought is so immense.

And it must be


In short, notice the beautiful surroundings, notice other people, notice your own actions. Give thought to what you are doing and why.

Noticing others helps you in the social world, too. Keening your eye on noticing details about others is an amusing exercise. Ever wonder how Hercule Poirot became so good at being the worlds best detective? He had to start somewhere. I started by trying to notice the eye color of the persons I talk to. Trying to notice unusual ticks in body language is also the way to become a good at telling when others are bluffing.

A good place to begin is to start making a list of “Top 3 interesting things I noticed today”. Guaranteed self improvement.

Happy noticing!